Month of loooove - birth mom edition

We are lucky to have three fantastic birth moms (and one awesome birth father) in our lives. I have said over and over how much we love them, but I want to say it again. We love them. I love them. Ben loves them. And the boys love them. We are so grateful for them. "Thank you" is not enough.

A few weeks ago we went to lunch with Blakey's Birth mom, Kellie, her little boy and her mom. It was so fun to chat and catch up.

We love you all. So much.

Griffin's Perfect Day

Each member of our family has their own temple.

Ben's is Seattle.

Mine is Idaho Falls.

Eli's is Mt. Timpanogos.

Blake's is Provo.

And now Griffin's is Draper.

On Nov. 27 we took our little family to the Draper Temple to be sealed to our baby Griffy for eternity. Ahhh. It was a truly wonderful day (aside from the freezing cold temps and ridiculous wind) and we were surrounded by people we love. Our families and some close friends came to help us celebrate the littlest man. We are so grateful to those that traveled to support us.

The big boys were so excited to go back to the temple. Eli told his teacher, friends and everyone else he knew that we were going to the temple so Griffy could be our baby forever. I have never been prouder of them. They were so reverent and happy.

As Ben and I waited in the Celestial Room I looked at him and said

"I love you and the day we were married was wonderful, but this is better"

He said

"I know, because our whole family is here."

Can I tell you how much I love him. He understood exactly. It was one of my favorite moments. Ever.

I am so blessed to have him and our three boys in my life. When Eli, Blake and Griffin walked into the sealing room, sporting their new matching white suits, my heart grew three sizes. It was perfect. I was so overwhelmed with love and gratitude. My testimony of the gospel and the temple was again confirmed. It is true.

I know Griffin was meant to be part of our eternal family and I cannot adequately express the love and thankfulness that we have for his birth parents. They are amazing and wonderful and selfless. They brought us our baby. We love you Nichole and Troy. Thank you.

My heart is full and my life complete.

our three marvelous, miracles

blake was winking at the photographers.

both of our families. we are so grateful to those who came.

did i mention the wind?

ben's entire family.

my family that came.

grandma jan and aunt hailey.

the wall women.

my parents and boys.

ben's parents and eli

grandma jan and eli

**thanks to lucy, valeri and my dad for the fantastic pictures

That Sunday Ben gave Griffin a wonderful blessing. It was the perfect end to our weekend.
We were especially happy that Nichole (griff's birth mom) and some of her family were able to come to the blessing! Love you!

both families

my entire family

aunt hailey and griffy

Final

November 19th.
Finalization
Judge Davis -"I declare Griffin Joshua Wall the legal child of Benjamin Gary Wall and Britney Daun Wall."
Aren't those fabulous words.

It was a freezing cold morning when we arrived at the court house to testify before the Judge that we have and will continue to love and care for Griffin. Finalization is always an emotional experience. It is the final stop in a long journey to creating our family. All that is left are the wonders of the temple - which is just pure goodness.
Judge Davis loves doing adoptions and is always so excited for the families. He did Eli's finalization 5 years ago and we were lucky enough to have him again for Griffin's. He was so happy to have us back again that he wanted Eli to sit in his chair and put on his robe again. What a wonderful man. It was so great.

A happy, happy day.

Griffin in the Judge's Robe

Blake was very cooperative

Everyone that came to support Griffy

Eli becoming a judge

Judge Eli B. Wall (a mom can dream)

Brotherly Love

I have been introduced recently to a website called Adoption Voices. It is a great resource for all people in the adoption world. Because let's be honest, it is it's own world. It has also made me so aware of the blessing of these three little crazies -

*courtesy of Leisha Kelsey Photography

I am very sure that all three of our boys were sent to us for a reason. I believe that they were meant to be brothers. Selfishly I want to think that they needed me to be their mother, but I know that isn't true. They needed each other more.

When we brought Griffin home, it was as if Eli and Blake already knew him. We didn't have to explain who he was - they just knew. They loved and accepted him instantly. Griffin looks for them when he hears them talk and stares and smiles at their faces. He already knows how important they are to him.

The big boys love, defend and torture each other perfectly. They say they are best friends and they giggle until they fall asleep. They fight and hit and scream - but understand that they are brothers. Eternally.

We have experienced many miracles in the creation of our family. But knowing that Eli, Blake and Griffin were brothers before coming to us and will continue to be well beyond this lifetime is perhaps the most miraculous and comforting of them all.

The Lord is all-knowing and he knew that Eli, Blakey and Griffin needed to come here, together. So he bypassed my jacked-up girlie parts and sent them to each other through three selfless birth mothers. How grateful I am for them and for a Heavenly Father who knows what and who we each need.

Pictures

Some pictures taken at the birth mother walk we went to in May. Before Griffin existed - two days before to be exact.

Griffin's Story Part 2

March 15th(ish). Ben informs me that a friend of ours knows of a potential birth mother. He ran into her and she mentioned it to him. He tells me to call and give her our info. Being the procrastinator that I am it takes me a few days (ok, a week) to call her. She lets me know that her mom has a friend whose sister is planning to place her baby girl for adoption in two months. I gave my friend all of our info - blogs, adoption, profile, email, phone numbers, blah, blah. Then I prayed.

Monday, March 30 - Our worker calls to tell us that another birth mother wants to do a noncommittal face-to-face with us in two weeks. She is having a little boy and is due mid-May. This birth mother is meeting with two other families on April 6 and is meeting with us on April 13. I get excited again, but not as "crazy-person excited" as I was before. I know what the outcome could be and I just pray that things will go well - whatever that means. The birth mother and father had only been looking at couples with no kids, they wanted their little boy to be the first. But a friend of ours had mentioned us to them and they really wanted to meet us.

Then my brain went to work. The problem with my brain is that it likes to over analyze everything. It is exhausting. For Ben. He has to listen to me hash everything out. It's the way I work. He knows this and loves me anyway.

For the next two days I thought about every possible scenario. "It's good we are meeting them last." "It's bad to go last, they might choose someone before they even meet us." "They want a family without kids, they don't want us." "We are the only family with kids they are meeting, maybe it's a sign." See, exhausting. After two days my brain stopped and my faith kicked in. I felt really good about this, regardless of how it worked out and I knew that whatever happened we would find our baby.

The two weeks were uneventful and I had everything ready to meet them. We didn't tell anyone. I had a neighbor watch the boys and I told her I had an adoption "meeting" - not really a lie.

April 13 - We met with Nichole and Troy. It was fabulous. It was calm. It was comfortable. It was right. And although they didn't say so, Ben and I knew this was our baby, just like we had known that the time before it wasn't. We left the meeting feeling happy, excited and reverent. It's a humbling experience when the spirit is felt so strongly. I had prayed that I would know if this was right and that I would know that through Ben. I get too emotionally involved. Ben is my rock. He keeps me grounded. He is logical. When he told me that he felt this could be our baby, I had my answer. I knew that the Lord again had answered my prayers.

When we got home we received a call from our worker saying that Nichole and Troy wanted to meet with us again the next Wednesday. Eli's birthday. They wanted us to bring the boys, so they could meet them. Again we told no one.

April 22 - Eli's 5th birthday. A big day - in many ways. We had a morning of presents and singing. Eli had a shin-dig at school. Then we headed to the agency to meet with Nichole, Troy and Nichole's daughter. They told us that they both knew from the first time they read our profile that this little boy was meant for our family. Wow. The Lord is all-powerful and all-knowing. I know this is true.

On my biggest boy's big day we were told that he would be a big brother times 2. We were going to have a third little boy. Humbled . . . again. One of the very best days of my life. How do you thank someone that is allowing you to be a mother. You can't. There is no way to adequately show the eternal gratitude that I feel. It's overwhelming. It was very special to have my little family of four together when we learned this news. No one knew, but us. It was perfect.

Then we went to . . . Tepanyaki of course! Eli's birthday dinner and a celebration all rolled into one.

I had three weeks to prepare for this new little guy . . . nothing excited me more.


Click here to read part one

Griffin's Story Part 1

At 7:00pm on Thursday, March 5 we received a call from our case worker. She said there was a birth mother that wanted to meet with us the next day and she was due with a little girl in three weeks. It was what they call a noncommittal face-to-face, which means she was also meeting with another couple and was still trying to make her decision. So far we had been waiting close to seven months and hadn't heard anything, so yeah, we were excited. I had less than 24 hours to get everything together - I was a little frantic.

When we first meet with a birth mom I always like to take a small gift, just to show appreciation for her meeting with us. We were meeting with the birth mother and the birth father and the birth mother also had a son. I wanted to get something for all three of them and so my frantic turned to panic. I was so jittery and excited I couldn't get my head wrapped around the fact that we were meeting her tomorrow. We could potentially have a little girl by the end of the month. We put the kids to bed and I started dreaming about this little girl that I was sure was going to be ours.

The next morning I started planning things out . . . run to the mall for gifts, get the boys to my in-laws and be ready to leave by 4:00. My friend Leisha was supposed to come and hang out and I didn't want to cancel. Good thing I didn't. Leisha saved the day. She helped me plan, shop and organize the cutest baskets. First we took the kids to Mcdonalds and let them play on the toys while we made a list of the things for the baskets. We loaded the kids up and got ready to head to Walmart.

When I got in my car I had a very unique experience. I had a strong feeling that this baby was not meant to be in our family. I know that sounds convienent now, but trust me, I knew.

Let me add now that for the last 8 years, through the emotional roller coaster of infertility, the difficult process of in-vitro, and the uncetainty of adoption I have always asked the Lord for one specific blessing. I have prayed that I would know what was going to happen. That I wouldn't always be waiting for a call from the doctor or case worker. That it wouldn't come down to the wire, so to speak. That I would know in my own little heart what was happening. And for some reason the Lord has, to a certain degree, allowed this blessing. It has been one of the most tender mercies in this long, sometimes painful process of creating our family.

So I knew very certainly that this little girl was meant for another family. While we shopped at Walmart I was sad and when I dropped the kids off, I was still sad. Yet I still felt like we needed to meet this sweet birth mother.

I met Ben at work and off we went. We had about an hour drive. When we got to the agency I felt really good. We met an incredible woman and instantly liked her. The meeting went well and we left feeling happy. She said she wanted to think over the weekend and would let us know Monday. Ben and I headed to Tepanyaki to celebrate. Because really, who needs an excuse to eat sugary noodles and the most tender fablulous steak possible? Not me. Over the weekend I wasn't anxious, I wasn't even nervous. I knew the outcome already. So, when our case worker called to let us know that this precious birth mother had chosen the other family, my response was "yeah, we kinda figured". I wasn't sad and I wasn't upset. I knew it was right. A few days later I told Ben that I really felt like things were happening with our baby and I didn't know when but I knew he was coming. . .


Click here to read part two

Overwhelmed

I am overwhelmed today. I am watching my new baby sleep peacefully. My heart feels as if it might burst any moment. It is spilling over with gratitude for a perfect sweet little baby boy. For two bigger boys that have instantly fallen in love with their new little brother. For a group of friends and family that make everything more special. For an amazing and selfless birth mother and birth father who recognized the Spirit and followed it's promptings. For a Heavenly Father who knows me and loves me.

My emotions are so close to the surface today. I am having trouble being coherent. I want to record Griffin's miraculous journey to our family. . . and I will soon. I need to gather my thoughts so I don't leave anything out. So many miracles, both tiny and huge, were involved in bringing Griffin to us. And while I understand that every baby is a miracle, he is my miracle and he is perfect.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and wishes. We love you all.



By the way - didn't I hide my pregnancy well? HA!

Birth mother's walk in Provo tomorrow

Tomorrow is Birth Mother's Day. It's an important day in our house. We love our birth mothers. They are the reason that I get to celebrate Mother's Day. In honor of all birth mothers, there is an Adoption walk at Provo High School tomorrow at 10:00. I would love for everyone to come out and walk with us. It should be lots of fun!

Here's the info:

Birth Mother's Day Celebrated in Utah County

Celebrate Adoption Walk: Provo High School Track

Saturday, May 9, 2008, 10:00 a.m.

This upcoming mother's day weekend a special kind of mother will be honored in Utah County.

Many Utahns don't realize that Birth Mother's Day is celebrated the Saturday before Mother's Day each year. The Provo chapter of Families Supporting Adoption, a national organization promoting adoption, is celebrating Birth Mother's Day by holding a "celebrate adoption walk" on Saturday May 9 at 10 a.m. at the Provo High School outdoor track.

This unique community event celebrates the sacrifices and choices of birth mothers and their important role in helping create adoptive families. Birth mothers, adoptive families and everyone whose lives have been influenced by adoption are invited to participate in Saturday's festivities.

"This walk is a way for the community to honor the sacrifices of birth mothers and for everyone to come together and celebrate how adoption changes families and changes lives," said Tony Jewkes, Families Supporting Adoption, Provo Chapter executive chair.

Families and children of all ages are invited to attend and show community support for adoption and birth mothers on this special day. Snacks and drinks will be available for all participants. Along with the commemorative walk around the track, other activities and games are planned for this Saturday morning event sponsored by Families Supporting Adoption (FSA).

FSA is a national organization with chapters all over the country. These chapters provide information about adoption and support to those associated with the adoptionprocess, including birth mothers, birth fathers and adoptive couples.

Birth Mother's Day (or First Mother's Day) has been observed on the Saturday before Mother's Day since 1990 when it was first celebrated in Seattle. There are an estimated 6 million adoptees in the United States.

Blakey's Day

Our little Blakey-man turned 3 last Thursday(March 19). We had a fun packed day with cousins grandparents and aunts and uncles all here to celebrate Blake. It's crazy to think that it has been three years since Blake was born. He has been such a blessing to our family and we know that he came to us at a very important time. He is such a unique guy and is always surprising us with things he does and says. He makes me laugh every single day and we love, love, love him very much. I am so happy that I get to be his mom.

Ben and I took Blake, Eli and their cousins Ainsley and Beckett to Jumping Jacks. I think they all had fun - probably more than should be allowed.

this is ben taking all four kids down the "really huge" slide. hil-ar-i-ous!


Then we came home and got ready for the big bash. Blakey kept telling people that it was his Spider-man birthday. So Spider-man it was.

gma ellie knew to get two cans of pringles as part of the gift. no sharing necessary.

matt & erica gave him this fantastic jersey

he thought the candle was a big candy shaped like a 3

spider-man scooter

the scooter gma jan gave him - two scooters and both have already been worn-in


opening presents can be exhausting


An intense game of baseball with a soccer ball and fun in the bouncy castle followed the festivities.

beckett

this is one of my favorite pics.
beckett, cooper, eli & ainsley -
yes ainsley, all dressed up in in eli's "boy clothes"


Thank you to everyone who came to celebrate with us - especially Matt & Erica, who came all the way from Indiana just for Blake's big day - right guys? And to my mom and dad who were there because of a head injury, but still managed to party with us. We love you all and Blakey is very lucky to have so many people that love him!

*and thanks, mom, for taking the pictures for me!